alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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