shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
