More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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