so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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