if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
