sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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