I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
