I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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