He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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