the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
