It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
