so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
