I want to make a zoo with you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
