It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
