After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize