Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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