should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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