ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
