Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Bring me that man meat
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
