you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
