508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
