Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
