Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
