I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
