I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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