I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
