I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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