I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
