I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
