My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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