I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They took my balls.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
