did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
