I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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