Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
