I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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