how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
