I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
