she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she told me i tasted like america
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
