garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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