So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
