Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
