Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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