How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
