I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
