he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
