your parents love me but you hate me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
