nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
