Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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