The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
