giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
