Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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