If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.