She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.