You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."