WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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