You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
