wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
