i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
