either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wish my penis had a tongue
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
