I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ugly people sure do ruin things
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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