they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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