dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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