Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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