normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
