its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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