If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
